One year ago today

one year ago today we watched as your little heart beat fluttered on the screen. i prayed so hard you’d be okay but God new best. Knowing you were there made it all so surreal. watching your heartbeat, hoping for the best. Praying God wold carry us through. No matter what the end result wold be I knew that I knew God was in control and there was not a single thing i could do but pray.  Pray i did for you for what was best for you. Even in the smallest details I saw God answer in his own way. you would meet him one year ago tomorrow.

There isn’t a day that goes by when i don’t think about who you would have been and who you are today. Running around in heaven playing with great grandparents and your cousin Michael and aunt Faith and your brother or sister. You rest in your Creators arms, something i would never want to change.  I dream of what life would be like and then remember God has answered my hearts cry to feel movement from inside. Not to replace you because no one ever could. Somehow it helps in the healing process. just like Hannah in the Bible, God answered her prayers and opened her womb and she was blessed and called him Samuel.

One day soon your brothers and sisters will know you were here, even if it was for a short time.  You brought so much joy and we had a bond that no one else will be able to share not even daddy. I can’t wait to see who you have become.

Just like i prayed with Sarah, God gives and he takes away but my heart will choose to say, ‘Blessed it be your name” through the the pain God still remains. What the enemy meant for evil God has turned it around for His Glory. 

God has brought healing and i know that he has a plan so I walk with my hand in his as he holds you and  leads the way.

You are missed and loved Baby H.






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